Is it really five? What really matters?
When we think about the impact of relationships, there seems to be a consensus that the number five is a key factor.
One thought offered is that where we will be in five years compared to where we are now will be determined by the books we read and the people we meet.
Another one we often hear is that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.
One is a way to predict the future. The other is a way to evaluate our lives now and determine if our circles, values, and aspirations align.
An example might be that if your primary desire in the coming year is to improve your health and the five people you spend the most time with don’t place a high value on healthy practices, you will likely struggle. It doesn’t mean you can’t get there. It just means that a vital support element may be missing.
But this is where that first thought comes into the equation. What if where you spend your time is the issue and not the people? What if it’s about the information you are consuming?
What if the five people you spend the most time with don’t factor into your health practices at all?
You see, it’s rarely ever just about one number. It’s about 360-degree thinking.
We all have relationships.
When we break them down, we can’t solely measure their importance in terms of time. So rather than the amount of time spent, I’ve found that it’s better to measure them based on their influence and significance.
Our perspective about their value and our respective roles is where we begin to understand their full potential and impact.
As we venture into February, a month where our thoughts automatically turn to relationships, let’s challenge ourselves to think beyond just time or even what’s in it for ourselves.
It’s an interesting shift but one that can serve us well.
“Has it ever occurred to you that what you are not getting – either from someone, something or somewhere – might be precisely what you are not giving?” Dr. Robert Holden – shift happens!
It may be better to ask how we measure up as one of the five.
Remember, growth is the goal for everyone.
This approach is valuable because the same principles apply no matter what relationship we’re talking about.
Whether our relationships are within our family, with friends, colleagues, or customers – we need to continuously review our investment, intentions, balance, energy responses, and commitment to them.
That is how our relationships will give all of us the highest possible return – a positive sense of self, who we are, and our value in the world because we create value for each other.
