The Dark Side of No
The fear in a YES can keep things out of reach. (See Kathi's recent article.) But the fear of a NO can be just as detrimental.
So let's get personal... I've shared that I was a no-challenged woman, saying yes to many things over the years that I should have said no to out of FOMO and a variety of other reasons.
But today let’s take the NO to a deeper, darker place... the fear of saying NO when feeling pressured and intimidated. This is a NO that needs to be thoroughly examined.
There are circumstances and situations that you may find yourself in where someone is pressuring you for a YES - or to do or see it their way. When you feel this pressure, it's time to hit the pause button and...
Review your core values. Does the yes or no align with them?
Ponder the reasons why you are feeling the pressure and is there a healthy boundary you need to establish. Sometimes talking it out with a trusted advisor can help.
Stand firm in your decision. If you know it's a no, don't allow someone to intimidate, bully or otherwise convince you to agree to say yes. If you know it's a YES, get out of your way and just do it.
Being the YES I CAN Coach, you'd think I have this mastered. But sometimes I experience something out of the blue and need to - hit the pause button and consider those same three questions. I KNOW my values, my boundaries and who I am, and I can, will and did make the decision out of empowered strength and not trembling fear.
Pondering a YES or a NO and not sure? Let’s chat.
