What is it about Fridays?

Have you noticed that we harbor a special recognition for certain Fridays?

There is Good Friday which is a holiday within the Christian faith. Or perhaps, because of a religious practice, you remember or even still practice Fish Fridays. I remember that well from school cafeteria menus growing up.

Then there is Friday the 13th! Something we’re told to avoid when planning anything that we don’t want to go awry! It’s claimed that if bad things are going to happen – it will likely be on that day.

And for those of us who have worked in offices, we can’t forget those Casual Fridays! Something I think many of us looked forward to because a more relaxed wardrobe seemed to create a more relaxed day.

And, of course, for November, we have Black Friday. A noteworthy day in the year when many retailers move into the “black” in their books and are able to have a profitable year.

Each has a very different meaning, but Friday is the day chosen for all of them.

As it turns out, though, with the exception of Good Friday, the importance of the others has changed over the years.

For example, now many people defy any notion of unfounded superstition and staunchly believe that we create our own destiny or luck, as some might call it. In fact, I’ve known people to actively plan things, even weddings, on a Friday that falls on the 13th day of the month.  They claim 13 as a lucky number and defy all the old stories around that number.

And, of course, Casual Fridays have morphed over the years into Business Casual as a general and continuous dress code for most workplaces. It’s just another way that we have integrated our lifestyles with our work. My daughter and her family live in Alaska, and, as you can imagine, especially in the winter months, their dress code is more about staying warm than anything else.

And even though Black Friday has, in its way, stubbornly held on to its place in the retail calendar, it’s now extended well beyond a single day. We now have Black Friday Sales that begin far in advance of the original appointed day. The Friday after Thanksgiving is no longer the launch day. I started seeing the ads just after Halloween this year! So even though it is still recognized, we no longer wait for it.

Perhaps that change can also inspire us to look at other traditions around the upcoming holiday season.

Let’s start with the prospect of giving (and receiving) gifts beyond physical packages.

Here are some ideas to explore:

Gifting Experiences

What if we gifted an experience? For a person or your family, or perhaps even another family. It could be tickets to a particular event, some kind of travel voucher, or anything that falls under the category of a shared experience. When my daughter was young and I was a single parent, we didn’t have the budget for vacations or travel. Or at least I didn’t make room in the budget for that. I love that her family now has taken a different approach to life and that they travel together and create rich experiences for my granddaughters. Those are memories that will stay with them well beyond what they would remember about other things.

Gifts of Learning

Learning has always been vital for me. In fact, I consider being able to learn one of my core values and something I always wanted to instill in my daughter as well. When Lauren was growing up, each year, we would often talk about what we each wanted to learn. Once she married and started her own family life, I wanted to find a way to keep this practice alive for both of us. So, before each Christmas season, we would talk about the new year and what she wanted to learn, and it became a part of the gifts I gave her. Sometimes, it had an art component, or cooking (one of her favorites), or just something of interest. Nothing keeps us motivated in life overall more than learning something new or deepening our mastery of a skill.  That makes learning a valuable gift.

Gifts to Make a Difference

We want, of course, to always be finding ways to make a difference. But it is essential to do this over the holidays because it is how we demonstrate and lead with gratitude for the gifts we’ve already or are about to receive. But this is about more than just dropping coins into a bucket or writing a check. The decision isn’t about whether to give. It is about choosing where and how to give because it may be about our time and talents more than money. And it can be something that we do on our own and with others. Working together and giving together to causes we care about is one of the best ways to come together as we celebrate a season of love.

Gifts of Memoriam

When we lose someone we love, and they are no longer a physical part of our lives, it doesn’t mean that they are forgotten. In fact, I’ve found that those who are no longer here seem to be on my mind even more strongly at times than when they were alive. I think the physical void often does that. The holidays are a great time to celebrate their memory beyond their birthdays or the anniversary of their death. Gifts that help us remember and acknowledge those no longer with us are a place where we can be creative. Creativity will come into play because it will be about something that uniquely honors them and our memory of them. We can plant a tree or flower that was their favorite or make their signature dish to gift or enjoy with our families, or any number of things. My nephew Joshua was tragically killed in a car accident when he was just 16. Although it’s now been many years, each Christmas, he has remained on our Christmas lists. He was fascinated by turtles and some years, one of my gifts to my daughter has been something that represents a turtle. It’s a way we have kept his memory alive and connected with us.

Gifts to Support Disaster Relief

This idea for gifting is always an option. Still, it is particularly timely here in the United States this year, given all the people and places still recovering from the multiple hurricanes and storms that brought devastation. We are all primed to respond to these disasters in their immediate aftermath. However, the needs extend well beyond that, and many families are still displaced or, at a minimum, living with great losses as they are facing this first holiday season after the storms. Adopt a family to help, adopt a town, adopt a charitable organization, or any of those that were hard hit. Do it as an individual, as a family, as a group, and even as a community. Create an experience for yourself and them by sharing with them. We move beyond acknowledging their losses to closing some of the most critical gaps and helping to instill hope for the future. These gifts will go well beyond just being a donation and make a tangible and immediate difference.

The list can go on and on. The point is to do something that will create an impact beyond the day. Let’s see this in the same way we’ve seen the other changes.

We can use the example of Good Friday to remember that we are all here to serve a greater purpose. Our spiritual path is 100% about the heart, and when we open our hearts, we share that path with others as well.

We can use the example of Friday the 13th to say that, in the end, every day is what we make of it, and we have the power to make any of them extraordinary by how we approach them.

And we can use the example of Black Friday to expand our thinking beyond a single day or event and make this a true season of giving vs. just a day.

Which new gifting idea will you adopt this year?  

Whether it is one of those I’ve mentioned, all five, or others you come up with on your own, it will change your holiday experience in ways you can’t even imagine yet.

If you’re still undecided, think about what you need and then give that. Another law of the universe is to give what you most need. Start there.

And always remember these words from Winston Churchill:

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”