Creating Meaning Beyond Ourselves: An Unfinished Quilt

The month of May brings us Mother’s Day, a celebration that represents legacy in a very personal way. It is a day set aside to celebrate our mothers and all they have made possible.

For some of us, it is also a time to celebrate being mothers and perhaps even grandmothers or great-grandmothers. Why? Because it is a thread that continues from one generation to the next.

Even though my Mom now celebrates being a daughter and a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother in Heaven, it is still a day when I can be grounded in gratitude for her and reaffirm my commitment to living forward all the values she instilled in me. And I get to celebrate as a mother and grandmother.

That is the essence and power of legacy in motherhood. We create meaning beyond ourselves by investing in the lives of those we love. It’s about love, values, and belief. 

How we live out the lessons that come from that will be different in every case, but they are still at the heart of what it means to embody that role.

There are many stories about impactful mothers, both current and throughout history, but it will be our own stories that shape us the most. After all, our mothers are our earliest role models. And often our response to that shifts over time.

Sometimes, those lessons are whispers that we only recognize much later and may even surprise us. The most meaningful lessons I have taken from several generations of my maternal heritage are about resilience, the importance of continuous learning and evolving, and the gift of personal freedom to explore my own path in life. But I did not fully appreciate some of those lessons until I became a mother and grandmother myself.

One of my favorite books is The Shell Seekers by Rosamund Pilcher. The central character is a woman named Penelope Keeling. It’s a great name but an even better story. From the opening scene in the book, Penelope seemed familiar to me. I was utterly mesmerized by her and then realized she reminded me in many ways of my great-grandmother, Molly Mackenzie. She was, in fact, her contemporary, albeit a fictional one.

Reading Penelope’s story helped me better appreciate the time of my great-grandmother, with even more respect for how she lived her life. Molly was here in America while Penelope was in England, but they were definitely cut from the same cloth, as Molly would have said.

When I decided to launch my company, I found myself thinking about them both and, being inspired by their example, I named the company The Mackenzie Circle after my great-grandmother. Even though I did not have the opportunity to have her in my daily life, what I came to know about her from her daughter inspired and influenced many of my most important choices over the years.

Molly Mackenzie stood up for her values and demanded respect in all of her relationships. She placed a high priority on learning. And not just formal education but true skill-building that enhanced life in a meaningful way. She was creative and resourceful in her approach to everything. There was a demonstrated belief in the idea that something’s value could and should be allowed to change over time. You just had to look at one of her many quilts to understand that.

She lived in the late 1800s and faced issues I know must have been challenging. But even though she did not have the freedoms women enjoy today, she never let that deter her from creating a life that included a far greater level of personal freedom than the times allowed.

Molly owned her home. She had her own business. She understood money and investments and was one of the first in her town to open a bank account. She raised her children, for the most part, as a single, divorced mother. When she wanted to do something and she was told no, she didn’t accept that as the final answer. She may have conceded that it was not possible in one way but not in every way. She continued until she found a way that would work.

I mentioned her quilts, and that’s a part of her story. She was a skilled quilter. According to her daughter, my grandmother, until her final days, she was always working on the next quilt.

They weren’t fancy quilts and were never made from purchased or new fabric. Instead, Molly crafted them from remnants of clothing or other items that had seemingly seen their final days. Molly’s quilts were another way for the story of their lives to continue. A favorite dress, a lovely blouse, a well-worn shirt, or a frayed tablecloth all came together to be both useful and remembered just as those who had worn and used them had come together in life.

Molly didn’t finish her last quilt before she died. She had most of the front of the quilt done, but there was still quite a lot of work left to do. My grandmother decided to take it on and attempt to finish it in her memory.

But as she looked more closely at it, she realized this was not the kind of sewing she had done in a very long time. She, too, was a skilled seamstress, but she used sewing machines by then. Molly’s quilts were all sewn by hand.

Initially, she stayed the course and made a valiant effort. She began to add pieces Molly had ready and started on the back for the quilt but ultimately, it got put away in a closet as a project to be picked up again another day. Predictably, that day didn’t come. 

But that unfinished quilt was still with us. It was passed on to the next generation when my grandmother passed away. My Mom’s sewing was born from necessity with five children and a busy home. While she loved being able to create and provide us with beautiful clothing and many things for our home, time was a precious commodity for her.

So, the quilt remained boxed up until she mentioned it to me years later. She asked if I wanted Molly’s last unfinished quilt. And, of course, I did.

The quilt has been coming to mind again, so maybe it’s time for it to finally find its place in the light. I’m not sure. Somehow, I know that there are stories yet to be told in that unfinished quilt and that Molly’s lessons aren’t finished with me yet.

I’ve come to realize that, many times, our work isn’t meant to be finished by us, only continued. We each live in our time, the time meant for us. Then our work passes on to the next generation to move it forward even more. Just like that quilt.

Yes, Molly’s example continues to teach me. She’s the inspiration behind so much of what I’ve done and continue to do. I’m privileged to do work that I know will never be finished. It’s a joy to know that, like Molly’s quilt, it will continue because of the love, care, and dedication I give to it while it is mine. It’s a humbling and inspiring thought. 

“The discovery of how you can live a life you love

is found hidden in the stories you tell about that life.”

~ Dawna Markova, Ph.D, Co-Creator of Random Acts of Kindness